I'm too old to be young, and too young to be old...

Some times I wonder if it will ever stop. And not just for my sake, but for my brother and sister's sake, they are just so young and I'm afraid for them. I'm afraid everyday. I'm afraid that on my way to school a bomb will go off. I'm afraid that if someone gets hurt we wont have the money to pay for the proper help. I'm afraid that if something were to happen to my parents that I will be separated form my siblings. 

I'm Tired of being afraid. I wish the war would

 stop. With every passing minute i dont know if i will live to see another day. My skin crawls when i see a bomb blow up and then the next day one of my friends doesn't come to school. It frightens me that i am not afraid of the dead bodies anymore...I see them all the time now as more and more crime comes into my town.  I wish there was a way out. A way for us to get away from all the terror. 

I see it in there eyes. They are scared just like me. I dont think any kid should have to see what I have seen, No one should. I'm scared that one day i will wake up and not care anymore. Not feel anything. Im afraid i will become numb to everything around me. 

Sometimes i just want to give up. I am so tired all the time and i have to take care of my siblings and i'm just so tired of fighting and killings. And the worst part about it is that i am so tired but i usually can never sleep because i'm afraid that my house will be blown up i don't want my family to suffer anymore. I get comfort when the troops are near.  They give me a sense of security. I feel like when they are around i don't have to be on my 

guard all the time.  And the stress is let off my shoulders a bit. But when they leave i feel just as scared as ever before. Im 11 years old and i feel as if the weight of the world is on my shoulders. 

I wish someone could tell me why we have to live like this. So many of us are broken. Emotionally and Physically. We Just want to be whole again. We want to not worry anymore, we want to be able to play games outside without the worry of being blown up, we want to be kids. Its hard to be strong when everyday i feel like i could just breakdown. We are stuck in the middle of this war. This was not our choice and no matter how many of us are killed or how many of us suffer our voices seem to be silenced because we are young. Physically we are young, yet our age is misleading,

we have seen more than many will in a lifetime. Its a struggle almost everyday. 

Somedays I wish there was something that i could do to make the place i live in better. But the matter of fact is that right now there is nothing i can do but live and try to help my family as much as i can. So i have to learn to let go of what i cannot change. And hope that there is a brighter future for all kids in Iraq. I just feel so caught in the middle. Im too old to be young, and too young to be old. There is hope for those of use stuck in the cross fires of this war and all i can wish for is that it come sooner than later.